(Sarcasm!)
This is a great idea! Fat people, especially those who are genetically plump regardless of what they eat or do, should learn early on that they will get nowhere in life and be miserable and cheated out of all their efforts no matter how much they accomplish so long as they’re not thin as a stick! It’s only fair to the rest of us who are lucky enough to not be fat! In fact, I think thin people should get credit for overweight people’s work from now on, and get all the money and stuff that was going to go to the fat people. Hey, fit people already get all the dates, attention, popularity, etc., so why not everything else too? It’s only fair! Plus, if skinny people get all the fat people’s money for their work, maybe the fat people won’t have any money to spend on food, so they’ll lose weight! See? It’s perfect! (French people always have all the answers!)
This is a great idea! Fat people, especially those who are genetically plump regardless of what they eat or do, should learn early on that they will get nowhere in life and be miserable and cheated out of all their efforts no matter how much they accomplish so long as they’re not thin as a stick! It’s only fair to the rest of us who are lucky enough to not be fat! In fact, I think thin people should get credit for overweight people’s work from now on, and get all the money and stuff that was going to go to the fat people. Hey, fit people already get all the dates, attention, popularity, etc., so why not everything else too? It’s only fair! Plus, if skinny people get all the fat people’s money for their work, maybe the fat people won’t have any money to spend on food, so they’ll lose weight! See? It’s perfect! (French people always have all the answers!)
But this doesn’t go far enough, if you ask me! In order to send the right message, we must give higher and yet higher grades and more and more extra credit to students who are the skinniest, no matter how they get that way! In fact, strike that: They should get even more extra credit points for getting skinny through anorexia, bulimia, drug use, etc., as it would show their dedication to being thin whatever the cost! I mean, right? And the skinniest ones, who can just barely stay alive while looking like living skeletons should get the most praise of all, as well as the highest grades! In fact, what difference does it make if they learn anything, know anything, do any work in school, etc., so long as they’re deathly emaciated? It’s the only way to get our young people to value being skinny, and to prove that thin is in!
Maybe colleges should have their acceptance policy be: “Thin is IN!” No transcripts required: simply step on the scale, and try on the college admittance committee’s pair of “skinny jeans”: if you can get into them, then you can get into the school! It’s just the right thing to do!
Here’s the skinny on the story:
