There’s a horror movie called The New Daughter, where some divorced father moves to some big
house in the sticks with his two kids, one of which is a teenage girl. Well,
she’s going through the usual teenage angst stuff, but her real problem is that
she’s being possessed, or replaced, or whatever, by some creatures who live in
some “Indian burial mound” on the property.
Well, nobody seems to like that movie, so naturally there
should be a sequel! Horror movies almost always seem to make a sequel even if
nobody wants to see one, so that rule should hold here as well, obviously. And
I believe I have just the thing for the sequel!
In the sequel, another single father would move to the boondocks
with his teen daughter, and of course there would be some cursed Indian burial
mound, or burial ground, or whatever, and on it there would be a horrifying
totem pole with a bunch of monstrous cat faces on it. And so, naturally, the
teen girl would turn into a were-cat, and the movie would be called: The New Daughter 2: Hello Kitty.
And think of all the Hello Kitty products that could be used
in the movie! They may not actually pay for product placement, but they couldn’t
very well stop the movie from using it either, as all pervasive as Hello Kitty
products are with girls. (Hell, not
having them in the movie would seem unnatural!)
(I like coming up with bad movie sequel ideas, in case you haven’t noticed.)
