We have such a large, healthy, thriving conspiracy theory
community here in America, so isn’t it time they were considered as a marketing
demographic all their own? The age demographics are so outdated nowadays, so
why not target markets based on interest? That way product ads could really connect with their consumers!
And with the conspiracy crowd so consistently shouting at us
to: “Wake up, America!” doesn’t this suggest a product brand name, like maybe
Wake Up, America! brand conspiracy coffee? Ads could scream that Wake Up,
America! brand conspiracy coffee “opens your eyes and wakes you up to all the
conspiracies around you, guaranteed!”
Wouldn’t you drink Wake Up, America! brand conspiracy coffee? Each package comes with a free
tinfoil-hat-shaped coffee mug that you can put on your head after you finish
drinking the coffee, which is guaranteed to block out all government attempts
at mind control.
