New No More Tears Soap?

When I was a child, I remember the brand "No More Tears" Shampoo: it was especially mild, so when kids got it in their eyes, it wouldn't burn. Well, a few years after that, I started taking showers by myself, and as most boys will learn, when you're not careful with the soap, and you get some in your pee-hole, it really hurts! It probably hurts a lot more than when you get shampoo in your eyes. That's why I think the "No More Tears" people ought to make a new soap called: "No More Painful Pee-Holes" Soap! It would spare countless boys from a whole world of hurt.

So what do you think, Johnson's? Will you make it? Seeing as how your company is called "Johnson's", and "johnson" is a slang term for penis, don't you think you owe it to penises everywhere for using their name for your company? I just think that if you're going to use that name, you really ought to try to protect the johnsons out there from painful soap. Now, don't you?