Yes, I always knew political correctness would destroy us in the end; I simply didn't know the destruction would come from outside! Ever since we've been prevented from hurling vitriolic insults and slander at one another, we've become weak in our verbal assault capabilities, and this is our Achilles heel now! But Iran, a belligerent regime with no compunction to prevent them from hurling the most harmful, demoralizing, pernicious verbal assaults imaginable, has finally developed a capacity for WMD-level verbal abuse: verbal abuse the likes of which we've never faced before, and for which we are altogether unprepared as a nation to sustain!
Just think of it: we've turned into a nation where a verbal insult is considered to be a far greater crime than a violent physical assault. Some have even stated that we've become "a nation of whiners", crying to the government every time someone says something perceived to be off-color or offensive. Well, this has made us become more and yet more sensitive and vulnerable to harm from name-calling, insults, slander, etc., and it may be too late for us to build up a verbal defense capability! And while we were becoming more and more sensitive to the slights of language, Iran has taken notice of this trend, and used a nuclear weapons program as a smoke screen to deflect attention away from their true weapons program aimed at destroying America: their WMD (Words of Mass Destruction) program!
Oh, the horror; oh the hurt feelings; oh, the shame and low self-esteem that will result if Iran is allowed to let loose upon our once great nation a barrage of weaponized insults and invective! Their biting sarcasm, their scathing weapons-grade wit, their crushing condescension, their insulting invective, will collapse this country in a pool of tears and self-loathing, and we'll have to wave the white flag of surrender just to get them to stop! Unless...
Perhaps it's not too late! Maybe, just maybe, if we can get our best insult comics and biggest bullies to train our military in the forgotten and forbidden art of verbal vitriol, antagonistic aspersions, and traumatic taunts, and combine that with the best in ear plug technology and auditory distraction, we may prevail, or at least hold our own! But time is running out: make no mistake! It we are to save our nation from this threat of weaponized language, we must first rid ourselves of the evils of political correctness: truly the enemy within, designed to make us vulnerable to teasing attacks from rogue nations! For only then can we proudly and fearlessly proclaim defiantly to the bullies of the world: "Sticks and stones may break my bones (and nuclear weapons may exterminate my population and irradiate my country), but words will never hurt me!" (<That's a sentiment we've apparently forgotten and rejected in America lately! And it's left us all vulnerable to the brutal barbs, slanderous slurs, injurious insults and devastating defamation of those out to harm our feelings of national pride! And this we cannot allow!)
Here's the story:
