Some people online are claiming an accused former New England Patriots player, Aaron Hernandez, now a murder suspect currently held without bail, is too sexy for prison. Which is why I think he should raise money for his defense with a new music video for the classic narcissistic dance track: "I'm Too Sexy", by Right Said Fred, but with new lyrics for his unique situation, like so:
I'm too sexy for my jail, too sexy for my cell, too sexy, oh hell,
I'm too sexy an employer, too sexy for my lawyer, and the judge, it annoys her.
I'm too sexy for all crimes, too sexy for all times, too sexy for my rhymes,
I'm too sexy for your TV, for those who want to see me, on HLN all evening.
Yeah on the perp walk, on the perp walk, I take my little turn on the perp walk...
I'm too sexy for the law, too sexy for squad cars, too sexy by far,
I'm too sexy for the cops, too sexy I can't stop, the charges they should drop.
I'm an athlete, you know what I mean, and I take my little turn on the perp walk.
Yeah on the perp walk, on the perp walk, I shake my perfect tush on the perp walk.
Here's the sexy story:
http://espn.go.com/boston/nfl/story/_/id/9424056/aaron-hernandez-new-england-patriots-arrested
And here's the sexy song (Warning: This may be too sexy for you!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39YUXIKrOFk
(BTW: I'm not saying he thinks he's too sexy. Just some people on Twitter think so.)
