Terminal Terminal: The Movie (The Edward Snowden Story?)

Hey, remember that movie The Terminal starring Tom Hanks, where he was stuck at the airport terminal for months and months due to some passport/immigration hitch? Well, NSA leaker Edward Snowden is, according to CNN, holed up in a Moscow airport, not knowing where to go next. And if the White House is successful, he may not be able to go anywhere else, either. And so maybe Hollywood can make a new movie version of The Terminal, but a political espionage thriller this time, called: Terminal Terminal. And in this movie, Edward Snowden would be stuck having nowhere to go, so he has to live for the rest of his life in the Moscow airport terminal. Oh, but it's no fun and games this time, for in this movie, everyone is trying to kill or capture him (!): the CIA, the KGB, the FBI, and all that alphabet soup's-worth of investigative/intelligence agencies worldwide. And so Snowden would have to live by his wits to stay a step ahead of everyone else who's trying to nab, arrest, interrogate or kill him by hiding in the different shops and restaurants in the airport and disguising himself to foil his potential captors/killers. Like, for example, he might get two Cinnabon cinnamon buns, stick them onto his hair with hairpins he finds on the ground, and steal a white tablecloth to wear as a robe, and act like a Star Wars fan dressed-up as Princess Leia on the way to some sci-fi convention somewhere; or maybe he could steal someone's red lipstick and face makeup and make himself up to look like Ronald McDonald, with some yellow spray paint and some pilfered jodhpurs to make into a costume, and he might even be able to escape on a corporate McDonald's jet, or hire himself out to some kid's birthday party and somehow escape from there. And meanwhile, there will be espionage agents from America and other foreign governments who've had plastic surgery and dyed their hair white to make themselves look like Wikileaks mastermind Julian Assange, and while trying to find Snowden and trick him into going with them to "a safe house", they'll all bump into each other and, angry that they're all copying each other and spoiling each other's plans, they'll get into a brutal spy fight to the death of like a dozen or so Julain Assange look-alikes. It will be hour and a halfs of fun for the whole family of international intelligence agencies worldwide to enjoy! That's Terminal Terminal: coming soon to a detention facility near you!