Western Bagel is a very popular bagel company here in California who boil & bake delicious bagels for us all to enjoy. Oh, but is there a dark side to their morning sunrise mealtime fare? Well, check this out:
The Western Bagel logo has a maniacal gunfighter with an itchy trigger finger massacring bagels right there on every product they sell (!). Well, this could lead their customers to a lifelong unhealthy obsession with guns, as well as perhaps dastardly plans to massacre bagels in the future! (Hey, the Western Bagel logo guy has perpetrated a bagel massacre and he got away with it and got to be a corporate mascot to boot, so what are we supposed to think?)
Now, there are some people who claim that this logo is merely a whimsical reference to the old American West, and the stalwart explorers and settlers who realized this nation's "manifest destiny" of a country "from sea to shining sea". (<Actually they're oceans. {Shut up, nerd!} I know, I'll shut up: Sorry.) Oh, but that's just because they're all murderers who want to shoot everyone. So run and hide from this bagel logo mascot, because it's only a matter of time before he goes on a rampage! (Look at what he did to those bagels: he shot them right through the heart!)
(Just kidding: Those bagels were probably askin' for it for rustling cattle or some such outlaw activity! But if Western Bagel is going to use a gunfighter shooting holes into their bagels as their logo mascot, then why not use the slogan: "Western Bagel: We shoot holes in our rolls!"?)
(BTW: I love Western Bagel.)
Oh, you know what? I might have this thing all wrong anyway, because don't bagels already have holes in them? Then it's clear that this gunfighter guy is using old West people's ignorance of bagels to con people into thinking he's a deadly crack shot by pretending he's shooting holes in bagels dead center when the holes are there already to begin with. And he's probably just using a cap gun or shooting blanks anyway. And so he's not really even a real gunfighter so much as he's trying to scare everyone away from messing with him by demonstrating a superior skill with a firearm. Oh, but won't this reputation of his attract yahoo young gunfighters seeking to make a name for themselves by killing this "master gunfighter" in a duel? Wow, that's probably what happened, and Western Bagel is using their brand logo as a way to celebrate this man of peace who tried to use a demonstration of skill with a firearm, albeit a dishonest one, as a mean of maintaining peace within his wild-West community.
But shouldn't they explain that?
