NYC Mayor Bloomberg to Require Composting of Mafia Hit Victims

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg's new food composting plan has an unexpected provision in it requiring the Mafia and other criminal gangs to compost their victims as part of the city's composting initiative. "We don't care why you did it, but they must be disposed of properly", said hizzonah about this new requirement for gang murder victim disposal. Gangs have mentioned a suspicion that this is just a new tactic to trick them into inadvertently revealing their crimes in a de facto admission of guilt that essentially makes them turn themselves in, but the city claims it's only a matter of proper disposal of decomposable food-type waste, and that the new requirement is not related to crime fighting techniques such as the "you won the lottery" trick, etc. "I guess we'll just have to try it and see", claimed one unidentified gang leader, adding: "We don't want to be accused of breaking the law or nothing, so we'll do our part to keep the city beautiful, including 'removing the garbage' from time to time, if you know what I mean."