We all know the movie The Time Machine (and some may even know the book it's based upon), but this idea of a time machine to take people to other distant time periods, it's just so impractical. After all, who wants to go back to the old smelly pre-bathing days to bring back the black plague to everyone now? Or to go forward to where alien conquerors have enslaved the tentacled dinosaurs who have evolved after mankind has been destroyed through environmental catastrophe and numerous extreme climate shifts? I wouldn't. Oh, but there's one application that everyone might want a time machine for!
That's right: I'm referring, or course, to cosmetic time machines! Yes, hop into this time machine, and rather than going back in time to a place, you'll make yourself younger in the present! Why, everyone would want one of these!
Plus, there could be a special personal pocket time machine for whenever there's a long line to wait in: you simply set it to move you ahead in time on that very spot at a rapid clip, and before you even have to wait, you're at the head of the line! (This time machine, however, will only let you go forward or backward by at most a couple of days, so you can avoid camping out for concert tickets and new video games and Black Friday sales, but no more. But don't forget to wear diapers, because you'll still have to go to the bathroom like normal, it's just that your perception of time is all sped up so that you don't have to experince the wait!)
