Friday, February 10, 2017

Every Dog Has His Day

That Amazon Echo Bruno ad reminded me of a funny story.

One of my best friends from college, Linda, once said: “You know how everyone likes to ask: ‘Who’s in charge of your house, or your family: your Mom or your Dad?’ I’m always like: our dog. Our dog is in charge of our family.”

So I asked her what kind of dog it was, and she said it was a Beagle. And then I asked her why the dog was in charge of her house.

So she said: “Every time we make food in our house, our dog gets some first. We try not to let him, but he always gets it anyway. We used to have people over and we’d set out snack bowls, and we’d go back into the kitchen to get more, and our dog had already eaten the ones we put out before. So then we’d put one out, and we’d hide behind the door, and when he started eating it, we’d spring out and try to stop him, but then he tried to bite us when we would try to take it away.”

And then she told this amazing Thanksgiving story that I hope I can tell as well as she did. She said: “One Thanksgiving we were having a bunch of people over, and we had cooked all this stuff, and this enormous turkey, and my Mom put it on the drain for like a second, and when she turned around our dog had grabbed the turkey, smashed the tray on the floor with all the hot grease and everything splashing everywhere, and he started eating the turkey. Well, we tried to chase him away, but he wouldn’t move, so we got Dad to try, and the dog tried to bite my Dad when he tried to get the turkey away. So my Dad got a wooden spoon and made like he was going to hit the dog, and so the dog got scared and peed all over the floor and the turkey. And then people started showing up, and they saw us throwing the turkey away in the trash outdoors, because we couldn’t serve it, and we couldn’t reward the dog with it, so… And they asked what happened to the turkey, and we said: ‘The dog ate it and peed on it. Sorry.’ And they asked what we were having for dinner, and we said: ‘Ummmm…’ And that’s an example of why the dog rules our house.”