Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Just for Men Control GX Brain Ad

There’s a new Just for Men shampoo to get rid of gray hair called Control GX, and their slogan is: “The first shampoo with a brain.”

But it explicitly states that it’s gray reducing shampoo, and the brain is made of gray matter. So while it has a brain, it might just reduce yours when you use it.

I wonder if this shampoo gets its brain from eating our brains, or stealing our brains little by little through osmosis?

It also gets rid of your gray hair, apparently. But that’s only to distract from its brain eating activities! And the less brain you have, the less you will notice!

Who knew that brain-eating aliens from outer space would disguise themselves as shampoo? Scientists tried to warn us about this, but we wouldn’t listen, and now it’s too late!

Hey, with that slogan: “The first shampoo with a brain”, advertising to zombies might get a little tricky. But I guess they could use a variant on the Body on Tap shampoo ads from the 1980s where they said: “Made with one third real beer, but don’t drink it!” So the zombie ad slogan would be: “The first shampoo with a brain, but don’t eat it!”

Also, the spot for this shampoo says it gradually reduces gray hair, and to use it until you like what you see. But what if we like the level of gray, but our hair gets dirty? Are we supposed to use a different kind of shampoo then? They don’t tell us what to do in that situation. (Shampoo isn’t just for dyeing gray hair, you know!)

Here’s the brainy spot:


And this is yet another time we see glasses equated with intelligence. Lasik and contact lens companies will be displeased with this commercial, I would venture to guess.

And this ad makes it clear that intelligence is not about having vision problems, but rather, simply a matter of wearing glasses. You don’t even need to have corrective lenses in them, just wearing glasses is enough to make you smart (although sunglasses don't count, apparently). But if you ever take the glasses off, you’ll be as dumb as a rock, so keep those glasses on!