Thursday, June 2, 2011

Adam & Eve .com Ad

These naughty people have been trying to tempt us with their lascivious wares for years now, but they must not sell very much. Otherwise they surely would have made a new ad by now! I mean, right? It’s the same old ad on for years! And it’s got a couple of problems, I think.

Okay, first things first. So this guy (who looks a lot like Matthew Fox) comes into the “store”, and he wants to buy some sex toys I guess. And he’s not buying sex toys so he can sit around by himself at home and look at them suggestively, is he? No: obviously this guy has a wife or a live-in girlfriend back at home, and she sent him out to get this stuff because she’s gotten to be too bored to continue having regular sex with him, but she’s too lazy or co-dependent to dump him. Well, or he’s rich. Or whatever. But anyway, so he’s got a significant other, and that’s pretty clear. But what happens when he asks for help? Well, the sales lady does some lame “cat” act and drags him into a changing booth to seduce him. And he goes with her! (Men are such whores.)

So there are a few problems with this, when you think about it. Obviously there is the problem with the fact that this guy is now probably going to get some STD from this young lady here and bring it home to his wife. But that’s not even that big of a deal for the business. You see, if girls who work there are always going to just sleep with the customers before they even buy anything, what kind of business model is that for a retail outlet? That proves right there that you don’t need to buy any of their sex toy stuff! So they’re going to kill their whole market right there! And then there’s the problem of what’s going to happen when the wives find out: they won’t let the guys shop there anymore, so they’ll have to buy stuff somewhere else (if they’re even ever allowed to get that type of stuff anymore).

But hey, maybe that’s why it’s an online store now. This ad is probably just old footage from what used to happen when it was an actual brick & mortar store, and that’s why they switched to just doing it all online.