I was just walking through the room while the television set was on during this commercial for some charity, so I didn’t catch what the charity was called, and I didn’t even catch the whole ad. But the parts I did catch really kinda seemed ineffectual to me, and I felt I had to say something about it. This is not to besmirch this or any other charity, as they all do work that is so, you know, charitable and everything. But still, there is a right way and a wrong way to do this. And making unconvincing or spurious statements or arguments isn’t going to help you much if you want to win people over.
So, what did I hear/see in the ad, and where did it go wrong? Okay, for starters, the spokeswoman said this at the beginning: “Imagine having to care for a child when you’re no more than a child yourself.” And then they showed what looked like a perfectly healthy 18-20 year-old woman with a toddler. Um, I hate to break it to you, but up until about 75 years ago, women were giving birth to and raising children from their teenage years into their younger twenties for all of human history! So that’s like, um, what, only like tens of thousands of years, if you count cavewomen? Ahem! Plus, younger people have the requisite energy to take care of little kids; that’s why our fertility cycles begin when they do! Older people can hardly handle the non-stop activity of little kids; that’s why there’s stuff like “child care” services to help them. Plus, older people have jobs, and they don’t have time for raising children; that’s why there are so many latch-key kids and other children raised by nannies who barely ever see their moms!
Look, I don’t mean to seem crass or uncaring here, but my grandmother was only like 16 when she had her first child (and it was not at all unusual then either), and doesn’t MTV have a whole gaggle of Reality TV shows where they follow all these teen moms around? And they’re celebrating it! So maybe you should approach MTV to do a “world” version of these kinds of shows for the teen moms your charity is for, rather than making a charity? Then they can all become TV stars and use some of their newfound riches to help their communities! And it would all be paid for by advertising dollars, rather than trying to beg out-of-work Americans for more money they don’t even have for their own families! It’s just an idea…
So anyway, I missed the middle part of the ad, but I happened to walk through the room again for the end of it, and at the end of the commercial, the spokeswoman said this: “So please go online to (the website’s url). I think it’s the most caring thing you could possibly do!” Really? Surfing the internet and going to that website is the most caring thing you could possibly do? Better than volunteering at a homeless shelter, or donating to a food bank, or sending money to UNICEF? Really? She didn’t even specify to donate money, I don’t think. Maybe I missed it, but I’m pretty sure she just said to go to the website. Well, maybe on the website they hit you with the teen-mom version of that ASPCA Sarah McLachlan ad where they show you all the miserable-looking, abused, injured dogs with their longing expressions and heart-tuggingly sad puppy-dog eyes. Could it be possible? Surely that will guilt-trip you into forking over some change!
But I still think doing an MTV Reality TV show about them would be a better idea. Teen moms are all the rage right now! Aren’t they? And they wouldn't really need any talent, either! All they'd have to do is pick the pretty ones! They could be the next Kim Kardashians, only with cute kids tagging along, making things even more adorable to help drive the ratings! It's perfect for television, and it would end up helping those poor communities! So if you really want to help them, start lobbying MTV or The Discovery Channel now!
