Yes, it’s David Vitter: he’s the hooker guy, for those of you who may have forgotten. (I accidentally typed “the hokker guy”, and I was surprised that even my computer didn’t remember that he’s (allegedly) that “hooker guy” who was found in that “DC Madam’s little black book”.) So anyway, his name came up a lot in the news this evening by Democratic pundits trying furiously to deflect blame and attention from Anthony Weiner on the Weinergate thing. And for people who are not married to one political party or the other, the comparison is somewhat apt, as they’re both sex scandals involving government officials who have refused to resign. (But for everyone else, one is fine whereas the other is not: I understand all that, you sillies.)
Anyway, this got me to remembering something about the whole Vitter scandal; something which I’ll bet even he has forgotten! He was a family-values candidate, and as such, he was always saying everyone is evil unless they’re all family-values-y or whatever. That’s why you had to vote for him! So during his whole election stuff, I think he was criticizing the Bill Clinton sex-scandal thing, and his wife said that she wouldn’t be so understanding as Hillary; no, she’d be more like Lorena Bobbit! (For those of you who don’t remember, Lorena Bobbit is the woman who cut the penis off of her abusive/cheating/whatever-he-did husband, and then drove off with it and threw it out her car window.)
So this got me to thinking: revenge is a dish best-served cold, right? So if someone wanted to, they could totally sneak into Vitter’s house and cut off his penis, and then everyone would just suspect his wife for it, right? She said she’d do it! So why would they ever bother to look for anyone else in the case? After all, revenge is a dish best-served cold, right? It would all make perfect sense in light of the Weinergate thing, and they’d all convict her like a penis-murdering Casey Anthony-type.
Now, I don’t ever want that kind of thing to happen to anyone, but I just couldn’t help but think of it, what with everyone bringing up David Vitter all night on the TV news. Blame it on Kirsten Powers. She started it!
Here’s the Bobbit thing, in case you were wondering, or just wanted to re-enjoy it:
