Um, what does being manly have to do with drinking light beer? Or, more to the point, what does dinking a light beer (oh, sorry: a Lite beer) with “more taste” have to do with machismo, machosity, or man-erism? Men don’t drink light beer, do they? So why are they running an ad campaign that equates drinking Miller Lite with manliness? It’s just inappropriate all around! Aren’t all men who drink that watered-down piss-water unmanly just by virtue of drinking it, whatever the brand? So what difference does it even make what it tastes like, or more specifically, how much taste it has? No wonder they’re dropping in popularity!
Here’s an example of a spot from this silly campaign:
So, here we have a bartendress who has the copious free time to ask a guy if he cares about what his light beer tastes like while taking his order? I’ve never been to a bar like that unless it’s totally dead, and in that case, they’d be happy to sell that guy anything, regardless of his unmanly “carry-all”. In fact, if they insult him, he might carry his carry-all right out of that shit-hole and go somewhere else to spend his money! And then they might end up having to close their doors permanently in an economy like this one. But go ahead: pick on these guys anyway! Hey, they’re asking for it, right? Anti-bullying laws be damned!
But, yeah, what the hell: I want to drink the kind of drink that makes bartenders ridicule me in front of everyone! Doesn’t everyone? No? Well, then I’d think that this ad campaign would make you think it would be a lot less hassle to simply order a shot of whiskey or a mixed drink, rather than a light beer that makes all the bartenders and bar patrons make fun of you when you order it! And apparently that’s what happens whenever anyone tries to order a light beer, if we’re to believe this ad campaign! In fact, even if you ordered a Miller Lite, you might just ask for a “Lite”, and since it sounds the same as “light”, even though it’s spelled differently (actually, I think it’s how you’d spell the word “light” after drinking a case of it, or if you were home-schooled by idiots!), they might just make fun of you because they don’t even realize that you ordered the right one! And you might ask for a “Miller Lite”, and they could mis-hear you in all the clamor of a hopping bar or nightclub and still bust your chops anyway! And you can’t give them a hard time back, or else they’ll either refuse to serve you or have you thrown out!
So I guess the real lesson here, from this ad campaign, is not to order light beer if you’re a man; and also that the Miller Brewing Company hates effeminate and/or gay men. After all, they’re running a whole ad campaign where they pick on guys who have even the remotest effeminate characteristic! But the funny thing is, only effeminate guys drink any kind of light beer anyway (besides Miller Lite), right? (<At least, according to this ad campaign, that is.) So I guess this is just a distraction so that you won’t notice Mill is also a light beer: you know, a “he doth protest too much” kind of thing… But isn’t that supposed to be wrong to hate people for things like being effeminate? (I guess not if you’re “manly” enough to drink Lite beer, though, huh?)
