I’m from New York City, but I’ve never thought they got the state slogan quite right; you know, the thing they write on the license plates. It used to be “The Empire State”, but that never felt right to me. What empire? After all, there's no Darth Vader here, and we don't even have en "Evil Emperor" either, unless you count Mayor Bloomberg. (Actually, he did do away with term limits so he could be mayor indefinitely. So maybe "The Empire State" is finally becoming appropriate?)
But after spending so much time here in my youth, and seeing how people act, I thought a more appropriate slogan would have been to call it: “New York: The ‘Fuck You’ State” (Can you imagine the “Fuck You State Building”?), or: “New York: The ‘Up Yours’ State”, or perhaps: “Noo Yowk: Gitowdahee!” (<New York dialect for “Get out of here!”) But after flying over the city and getting a good look at how much they have cleaned it up and how new and pristine it all looks,* I have thought of a more appropriate slogan: “New York: We Used To Have “Street Cred”, But Now We’re Gentrified.” The only problem with this one is that it leaves New Jersey with a tougher-sounding state license-plate motto, the proposed: “New Jersey: What’re You Lookin’ At!?” (It just barely beat out: “New Jersey: All That Pathetic, Miserably Lonely, Failure-Related Stuff Bruce Springsteen Always Sings About: That All Happens In New Jersey!” {Fortunately, that was too long to fit on the license plate.})
But after spending so much time here in my youth, and seeing how people act, I thought a more appropriate slogan would have been to call it: “New York: The ‘Fuck You’ State” (Can you imagine the “Fuck You State Building”?), or: “New York: The ‘Up Yours’ State”, or perhaps: “Noo Yowk: Gitowdahee!” (<New York dialect for “Get out of here!”) But after flying over the city and getting a good look at how much they have cleaned it up and how new and pristine it all looks,* I have thought of a more appropriate slogan: “New York: We Used To Have “Street Cred”, But Now We’re Gentrified.” The only problem with this one is that it leaves New Jersey with a tougher-sounding state license-plate motto, the proposed: “New Jersey: What’re You Lookin’ At!?” (It just barely beat out: “New Jersey: All That Pathetic, Miserably Lonely, Failure-Related Stuff Bruce Springsteen Always Sings About: That All Happens In New Jersey!” {Fortunately, that was too long to fit on the license plate.})
* (BTW: By cleaning it up all nice and stuff, they have totally ruined the city! I can just go to the country if I want to see clean, unpolluted land and green stuff! Why do you think people want to come to a great city like New York City in the first place? It’s so they get to see stuff they’d never get to see at home, like horrible pollution, smog, dead gangsters floating in the rivers, and beaches covered in medical waste! Come on: get with the program! I hardly even recognize the place!)
