Okay, we all know that Michelle Obama is trying to kill us all by forcing us to eat right, right? Right. We all know that, so I’ll just move on to the next point.
We all know it, but we may not understand the subtleties of how it operates. You see, Michelle Obama isn’t just any health nut: she’s brilliant! Not even I understood what she was up to until I saw her new “My Plate” thingy. Now, this is the perfect program to kill off Republicans so Democrats can rule America like a dynasty forever! Still don’t follow me? Okay, I’ll explain it to you.
Here’s how it works: Michelle Obama knows that Republicans have to attack and try to do the opposite of whatever she and the president suggest, right? Of course she does! She’s really smart, and this really isn’t all that complicated: it’s just a little bit of strategic reverse-psychology! So when she suggests that everyone should eat right, Republicans will all attack her and do the opposite of what she wants, which means they’ll just eat red meat and lard all day. And then they’ll end up dying of heart attacks and gout and stuff. So once they’re all gone, she’ll be able to rule as queen forever with nobody to challenge her! And this “My Plate” thing is her ticket to her endless tyrannical rule!
So to the “My Plate” thing: When you look at this ultimate piece of hippie propaganda, you can only marvel at the brilliance that conceived of it! I heard it cost $2 Million; it’s worth $2 Trillion to Democrats! Why, you might well ask? Well, it’s simple; there’s no meat on the plate! And the rest is filled with stuff that’s good for you! So, then, obviously Republicans will become violently allergic to everything on “My Plate”, and so, like I said before, with nothing else left to eat, they will only eat meat and lard and stuff, and so they’ll all die almost immediately! Then Michelle Obama will be crowned queen of America since we’ll all be too scared of her power to make her adversaries die at her feet for anyone to be willing to oppose her!
Yes, try to deny it, but you know it’s true: Michelle Obama’s “My Plate” nutritional recommendation guide is the stick with which she will bludgeon freedom to death! This ain’t no breakaway plate! This is the real thing!
Here’s the story with the terrifying truth!:
