They just finished running the Belmont Stakes, and some guy with a bright pink and orange shirt won, riding a horse called “Ruler On Ice”. It was really wet and muddy out, and my theory is that he won because he didn’t want to get his tacky outfit all soiled with flying gunk & mud. (You should have seen the favorite after the race, having run in the back of the pack for most of the track: he was completely covered in gray mud that made him look like a statue covered in wet cement!) It was another big surprise winner this season, which means lots of people lost piles and piles of money (again). (I guess that’s why they call it an “upset” victory!) But they’re all super-rich, so who cares?
But I could tell that “Ruler On Ice” was going to win, because he was the only one wearing a black executioner’s hood (well, one made for a horse, anyway), and so he obviously intimidated all the other horsies. I heard that when horses see another horse wearing a black hood/mask thingy, they tend to let that horse win, because the hood means they’ve killed other horses and trainers and stuff. I guess it’s kind of like a gang tattoo or whatever. I think a horse wearing an executioner’s hood told me that, but maybe he was just showing off or something.
The winning jockey said before the race that in muddy conditions like there were today, riders have to wear a few pairs of goggles and switch them up as the ones they’re wearing start getting opaque with mud. He said that he would be riding with nine pairs (!) on today, and apparently he did! But he didn’t end up needing them, since he was in the #2 spot right next to the leader for the whole race up until the home stretch, at which point he overcame the leader and finished up the race in the lead. So after the race, the winning jockey had this pile of clean-looking goggles all stacked-up on his helmet, and they looked truly hilarious! That’s when it struck me: they should wear goggles with windshield-wipers! Then they’d only need one pair! (Maybe they’re against the rules or something.)
It just seems to me that if you’re trying to jockey a galloping horse in a race, bumping up next to other sprinting horses with streams of flying mud and grime spraying up in your face the whole time, trying to switch out your mud-covered goggles every few seconds would be a hazardous activity that could quite possibly end up causing a tangle or crash that might result in a few broken necks, so I’d think the most efficient and effective solution would be the best idea for the sake of safety at least. But whatever. Watching them all crash into and trample each other at a full gallop would probably be more fun viewing for NASCAR fans anyway. (They like the crashes better than the races, right? Or, more accurately, the crashes are the reason they have NASCAR races to begin with, from what I understand.)
Here’s a brief version of the story with a picture that should show you the winner’s tacky outfit, and how clean it is relative to those around him (I hope they don’t change or remove the photo!):
And here’s a link to a bigger version of the story, with video of the whole race:
