Some Australian marine tour-guide guy recently claimed he has found that great white sharks really like AC/DC. Apparently, it’s their favorite band! Going even further than that, he claims the sharks’ favorite songs are “If You Want Blood… (You Got It)” and “You Shook Me All Night Long”. Now this seems a little bit like projecting to me, unless…
Maybe what’s happening here is something far more sinister than some guy trying to find out what sharks’ favorite bands are. What if some mad scientist is breeding genetically-engineered great white sharks that are specifically designed to like AC/DC? That would mean that they would want to eat anyone who likes wimpy soft rock like Air Supply or crappy elevator jazz like Kenny G! No wonder there have been so many shark attacks recently! Aaaaa! Stay out of the water! (Unless you like kick-ass rock’n’roll!)
But maybe that’s not what’s going on at all. (But the sharks will still eat all of you anyway!) What if sharks are just a little bit smarter than we give them credit for? Then it would make perfect sense for why they would like the song “If You Want Blood… (You Got It)”, because obviously they want blood, since they’re sharks, and so when they hear someone singing: “If you want blood, you got it!”, they think they’re going to get some blood, and that’s why they come to the boat. And in that case, they don’t really like AC/DC after all, but they’re just responding to it like Pavlov’s dogs to the bell. So the reason why the sharks get calm when they hear that isn’t because they like the music, or the tunes soothe them or whatever, but rather, it’s because they’re sitting around waiting for all the blood they’ve been promised by the song. And so this Australian shark tours guy is just teasing the sharks (which is mean)! And if I know my great white sharks, they will put up with this only for so long before they tip the boat over to eat this stupid welcher who keeps promising them blood and never delivers. But he’s full of blood, right? And so they’ll get their blood yet once they flip him into the water. Yum!
But I heard great white sharks think people taste better when they’re wearing AC/DC t-shirts! (Sounds yummy to me!)
Here’s the story:
And here’s an NPR-version of the story (but due to their liberal bias and pacifist stance, they refused to mention that the sharks’ favorite song is “If You Want Blood… (You Got It)”. Pansies!):
