Recently, I accidentally said something like “shit” in front of my young niece, like her mother does from time to time when she gets frustrated, and she said that’s a bad word. Yes, it is. But it’s also “adult language”, which means I’m allowed to say it. So, nyah nyah: I get to say it and she doesn’t! (Stick out tongue and blow a raspberry at!)
So children are not allowed to say bad, naughty words, but adults can. That’s because as adults, we’re much more responsible than kids. So when we say: “Fuck you!” to someone who cuts in line ahead of us at, say, the Casey Anthony trial, or whatever activity, and they punch us in the face, it’s okay because that is how responsible adults behave. But children would mess up a situation like that! They probably wouldn’t even start a fight, but rather, just giggle, or say: “I know you are but what am I”, or: “I’m rubber and you’re glue: whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you”, or whatever. And that’s just plain wrong! But it’s because they’re too young to understand the appropriate way to behave in that situation.
That’s why I think children ought to be taught and trained how to use profanity correctly, so they don’t grow up and act all inappropriate as adults. So when kids say that something like “shit” is a bad word and I shouldn’t say it, I like to tell them that it’s “adult language” and so I’m allowed to use it, but they’re not. But, that it’s okay for them to use it, as long as they’re under the supervision of an adult. So whenever there’s a grown-up around, just let ‘er rip with the foul, salty talk; they’re sure to supervise you and give you pointers when you’re not doing it correctly.
This idea comes from the fact that when I was a middle-school-aged kid, I would once in a while say something with a bad word in it to a house-sitter or whatever, just to try to seem older, and they would always jump out of their skin in offended self-righteous indignation about it, shaming me to the very foundation of my being. So I learned quickly that people don’t like to hear such things “out of the mouths of babes”, so to speak. But as soon as someone cut them off in traffic, or the red light was too long, or a song they didn’t like came on the radio, out came the “fuck”s and “shit”s, flying from their mouths and right into my virgin ears! (<Which is why I tried to do it to appear more sophisticated in the first place: because they did it!)
So that’s why I think we should encourage children to practice with “adult language” under the supervision of an adult: because the only time profanity ever sounds offensive anymore is when it comes out of the mouth of an innocent child. Um, I mean, so they can learn how to use it correctly! After all, we don’t want them saying stuff like: “What is the fuck?” like foreign-exchange students do, now do we? These children are the future of our country, and they’re going to have some tough days ahead due to the economy, etc.! So they should have an adequate grasp on the proper use of profanity if they’re going to survive in the future America with an acceptable level of stress! (Psychologists have done studies which suggest that using profanity in a moment of frustration can significantly lower stress levels, and that’s why we do it, apparently. Well, and to be offensive jerks! {That’s why I do it!})
