With a name like Amanpour, can you really afford not to
start a brand of coffee creamer substitutes called: “Amanpour’s Almond Pour”?
She could sell this stuff like she sells her news stories: with honesty,
integrity, and gravitas! And as a news reporter, it would be a perfect fit to
sell something like a non-dairy coffee creamer, right? She could say something
like this in the ads:
“Hi. I’m Christiane Amanpour, here for my new Almond Pour
coffee creamer substitute. If you’re like me, you love coffee; but in a job
like mine, you have to drink a lot of it, which can be hard on your stomach.
Plus, as a journalist, I’m always on the go, driving out into the desert and
other ‘hot-spots’ around the world for days at a time! You can’t bring cream
with you where I have to go: it would simply go bad! That’s why I’ve created
Amanpour’s Almond Pour: It’s the take-anywhere coffee creamer substitute with
the great flavor of all-natural almonds! It’s got great taste, and quality you
can trust, just like my reporting! That’s Amanpour’s Almond Pour: Ask for it by
name wherever newspapers are sold!”
Then some announcer guy could tack on an ending like: “You
don’t have to be rich to get the rich taste of Amanpour’s Almond Pour! I’m a-pourin’ it in my coffee right now!”
Mmmm! I can almost taste that rich almond flavor in my
coffee now!
