Some rich old man sits in his ritzy and palatial family room
talking to his doctor (who has made a house call), with his family sitting and
looking concerned behind him. He turns to the camera and says he has an
irregular heartbeat, and that his doctor said this puts him at a 5-times
greater risk of a stroke. So then he says he made a new will just in case
anything happens to him, and because he was worried about his family’s future,
he left everyone plenty of money, and if anything happens to any of them, the
others will inherit their share of the money. So upon hearing this information
about the will, the family members get distortedly exaggerated looks of
calculating greed on their faces, and then all of his relatives start murdering
each other in the background of the shot behind him, unbeknownst to the rich
guy, as he is busy speaking to the camera. (Slightly out of focus, we see them
stabbing, strangling, poisoning, smothering, etc., each other in the background
of the shot while the rich old man and his doctor speak to the camera about
Pradaxa, oblivious to what is taking place behind them.) And then his doctor
steps further into the shot beside the old man, and says that he put the guy on
Pradaxa, and that this may help him live a long and healthy life despite his
atrial fibrillation. And as it turns out, by the end of the spot, the old man
is the only one left alive in his whole
family, the others all having killed each other in a paroxysm of avaricious
delirium over the future inheritance money, leaving the background strewn with
the freshly-murdered corpses of his family. So Pradaxa made him outlive
everyone else after all! See? It really works!
Oh, but then it turns out that this was all a ploy! For this
rich man was no chump: he knew his family were a bunch of money-grubbing
assassins waiting for him to die so they could conspire to kill each other and
make off with the cash! So he hired this “doctor” to come discuss his “health
problem” so that he could claim the will was set up like a 1930s murder-mystery
movie, just so he could watch them all destroy one another with their cunning
rapaciousness! You see, he didn’t want to take a chance on dying and missing
all the fun, so he staged this whole thing and filmed it with a camera crew
pretending to make a TV commercial so he could watch it back over and over
again for his own amusement! And so he had the last laugh after all!
Unfortunately, this last laugh caused him to die of a stroke, which could
easily have been prevented had he simply hired a real doctor and actually taken the Pradaxa for real! So as convoluted as this whole plot is, it really does make a good ad for Pradaxa after all! (Well, unless
his doctor got greedy and stabbed him “accidentally” with a scalpel: then he
would bleed to death through the small, otherwise non-life-threatening cut! And
this teaches all greedy hopeful heirs of cantankerous misers that if you can
just trick them into taking Pradaxa, you can “accidentally” cut them and make
them bleed to death, and it won’t look like murder! That’s Pradaxa: ask for it
by name wherever “make it look like an accident” supplies are sold!)
(This is all just a joke! Please don’t look into all those
times people bled to death all around me: it was just an accident each and
every time, I swear! And all that Pradaxa isn’t mine: some guy just asked me to
“hold it for him”.)
BTW: This is based upon a real Pradaxa ad where an old man
and his doctor talk to the camera about atrial fibrillation, and how Pradaxa
can help, etc. But I can’t find this ad online to show you, so sorry about
that.
