Here we have two Ocean Spray employees (they look like farmers {actually, they look like fishermen without any tackle, but I think they're supposed to be farmers}, but they’re probably actors pretending to be farmers), and they’re standing in what looks like an ocean of cranberries. So they suggest doing a taste test between their cranberry juice and some vegetable juice (that I’m assuming is supposed to be V8), and wouldn’t you know it, but they’re actually going to do the taste test, and they’re going to tell us the results (!). Well, I’m sure we can trust them: they’ll be objective and fair, right? (Pepsi could have saved a hell of a lot of money with “The Pepsi Challenge” had they just had actors pretend to do it in their TV ads: then they could have just said Pepsi tasted better, and avoided the occasional public embarrassment from when they held the taste tests for real, but people preferred Coke!) So I’m not trying to besmirch their honesty: of course they’ll tell the truth; and after all, everyone likes the same stuff, right? So one person’s opinion is plenty to make up everyone else’s mind for them. (This is why Communism failed, folks! Faceless bureaucrats giving people only one choice usually leads to lots of disappointment and frustration all-around. {They did try to mitigate this problem by having so little food and stuff available that people should have been grateful to have anything at all, but I’m not sure it really helped all that much in the end, especially when they saw how fat and contented we all were here in America: land of freedom of choice, so long as you don’t want large drinks, cigarettes, salt, trans-fats, marijuana, Four Loko, etc., etc., etc.} But I digress…)
In any case, they taste the two juice drinks, and surprise, surprise: they like the one made by their employer better (Gasp!). But then they proceed to ruin their next batch of juice by pouring the vegetable juice (and all of its horrible sodium) into this sea of cranberries they’re standing in (!!). So now they’ve ruined them all! And all for some failed attempt at propaganda! (After all, do they really think we’ll drink their stuff when we’re being threatened with the lethal Kung Fu of Jackie Chan into drinking V8? He’d kill us for betraying him! He’s got the Fist of the White Lotus! Dare anyone cross him? Not I, sir!)
In any case, they taste the two juice drinks, and surprise, surprise: they like the one made by their employer better (Gasp!). But then they proceed to ruin their next batch of juice by pouring the vegetable juice (and all of its horrible sodium) into this sea of cranberries they’re standing in (!!). So now they’ve ruined them all! And all for some failed attempt at propaganda! (After all, do they really think we’ll drink their stuff when we’re being threatened with the lethal Kung Fu of Jackie Chan into drinking V8? He’d kill us for betraying him! He’s got the Fist of the White Lotus! Dare anyone cross him? Not I, sir!)
Actually, this whole post is meant in fun (as most of mine are, actually), for I love Ocean Spray cranberry juice! I just don’t think this commercial is doing them any favors, that’s all. Everybody knows you can’t trust any company to do an honest taste test when they’re the only ones tasting anything: That’s just a scam! If they hated cranberries, they’d work for V8 anyway, so what the hell kind of endorsement is that? Wow, you chose your employer over the competition, in front of everyone, and in this economy? That’s very brave, my friend! And while I already love Ocean Spray juice drinks, this spot made me seriously rethink my allegiances: for if they’re resorting to this, are they even making good juice anymore? It tastes good to me, but this ad is just shooting themselves in the foot. Maybe it’s intended as a joke, as it’s just too dumb to take seriously, but it obviously ruined a whole crop of cranberries to shoot, so they must have meant it. (Unless they cheated with the cranberry lake too and used CGI? How could they, after cheating with the taste test? Aren’t they honest and forthright about anything anymore without resorting to underhanded cheap trickery? {Actually, CGI is very expensive trickery!} But if so, I should have known, after the above taste-test shenanigans!)
In looking for this commercial, I find that it’s not online; but another one is, which shows people on the street taking a taste test of their new cherry drink (without any challenger, however), so this somewhat undercuts my argument. I’ll get you for this, Ocean Spray! (Actually, I’ll get a big bottle of your cranberry juice next time I’m at the store: it really is good! {But in actuality, all the people on the street tasting the Ocean Spray cherry drink could also be Ocean Spray employees simply reading lines, for all we know!}) Oh, and here’s this web ad that’s sweet, yet tart:
But here’s what this ad I’m writing about above sort of looks like, with two guys standing in a cranberry bog in fly fishing attire:
These guys remind me of a modern-day version of the Bartles & Jaymes guys, and here’s a couple of their ads from the 1980s:
