Okay, here we have some guy driving a Dodge Ram pickup truck, and a motorcycle gang rides up behind him. So, being the type of big tough guy who drives a Dodge pickup truck, he flips the bikers off and runs them all off the road: such is the toughness of a Dodge Ram driver! Oh, oops, that only happened in my imagination when I was making fun of this spot in my head, because in actual fact, this commercial shows the Dodge Ram’s driver looking scared as all get-out of this encroaching motorcycle gang (or club, or just friends out for a ride: they’re not all criminals, you know! Jeez!), but luckily for him, he’s driving a Dodge Ram truck: the only brand of pickup truck where biker gangs will not follow you home and kill you and your family for driving it. Yay, Dodge: the tough guy’s truck!
Now, I’m not trying to besmirch Dodge Ram drivers or biker gangs, but this commercial is a bit silly to me. I’ve driven around for years now, and I’ve encountered my share of biker gangs (my drummer had a business right next door to the Hell’s Angels’ Clubhouse on 3rd St. in NYC, for God’s sake, and it was probably the safest block in all of New York {no joke}! I still have their shirt that says: “Support the E 3rd St. Crew!” on it.), and while I wouldn’t advise messing with those guys, they seem like a nice lot to me so long as you don’t cross them in any serious way. So this ad simply makes motorcycle riders out to be a bunch of assault-happy murderers, and makes Dodge Ram drivers seem like a bunch of wimps and pansies. Is that what they were going for here? I’m just curious.
I suppose if I had had a different life experience, I might be scared of bikers too; but after playing in punk and metal bands for years, and walking the New York City streets at all hours of the night, biker gangs seem more like a family to me than a threat (not that I’m a tough guy, you understand): they’re just brothers bonded by bikes (motorcycles, that is) and riding, and they should be treated as such. Of course, if they start destroying your town, maybe that’s something else again; but that seems more to me like the plot of a movie than a regular occurrence (although it has been known to happen in the past every once in a while). But still, people treat them like they always want to kill everyone, and from my experience, they don’t: they’d simply like to be treated with respect and kindness and be left alone to do their thing “without being hassled by the man”, man. (Oh, and from what I’ve heard, they wanna get loaded, too.*)
But hey: I thought Dodge Ram always wanted to market their trucks as being all tough trucks for tough guys. But this makes the guy seem all intimidated and scared: Why would they do that? (I used to buzz around the I-95 corridor between Philadelphia and NYC in a Citroën 2cv all the time for years, and motorcyclists used to ride by, look, and give me an enthusiastic “thumbs-up” all the time, probably because I was in the only vehicle that was more dangerous to drive than what they were on! That’s a joke: It was an unusual car to see in America, and if you had it, you worked on it yourself, most likely, like a biker does. So there’s some definite kinship and a sense of fidelity there, I think.)
Okay, so how would I fix this ad? I would show the motorcycle gang riding down the highway, and as it passes other cars, like Toyota sedans and stuff, those drivers look intimidated and make an effort to look straight ahead, etc. But then the motorcyclists get up to the guy driving the Dodge Ram pickup truck, and rather than blow past him, they ride side-by-side, checking the truck out for a second, and then both the bikers and the pickup truck driver nod a respectful nod of approval at each other (if not actually give a thumbs-up). That way, it looks like the Dodge Ram is the only 4-wheeled vehicle on the road that’s cool enough for a biker gang, and a Dodge Ram driver is tough and doesn’t need to be afraid of other tough guys: because they’re all tough guys! See what I mean? (Or would that seem impertinent to motorcycle gangs?)
But to me, this ad makes a better commercial for motorcycles than it does for pickup trucks, because who is dominant here, and who gets more focus and respect here? It’s the motorcycles. And even with my attempt at a fix, that would still be the case. Unless they made it a gang of Vespa scooter riders… (But that might somewhat undercut the message of the ad, here.)
Here’s the “gang initiation” ad (that’s actually called “respect”; but this guy seems to have more fear than respect for the motorcycle gang to me…):
* This is a quote from that AIP Hell’s Angels movie The Wild Angels, I think (It’s from one of the biker movies, anyway), and it also opens my favorite Mudhoney song: “In & Out of Grace”.
And here’s that Mudhoney song with the quote at the beginning:
And if you’re curious, this is what the Hell’s Angels’ Clubhouse looks like in NYC (but there are usually a lot more bikes parked out front, if memory serves!):
Now, I’m not claiming to be any kind of authority on motorcycle gangs or anything, but it seems to me that many people treat them with an “Oh my God! Just take what you want and don’t kill me!” attitude, and after being treated like a threat all the time, they might want to provide one, because it’s a pain-in-the-ass the be treated like that when you’re just trying to get a burger or fill up your gas tank. Maybe some of them like that sense of making others cower, but I would find it extremely annoying. Just be nice, and don’t drive into them on the road, and I’m sure they will be nice enough back most of the time, just like anyone else. (A friend of mine when I was in elementary school said he was riding with his parents to see family when the Hell’s Angels rode past them, and he made eye contact with one of them, gave him a “thumbs-up”, and the biker gave him a smile and a “thumbs-up” back, and then blasted-off down the highway! And that was a formative experience for this boy, like hearing “Smoke on the Water” for the first time! That’s just great Americana, man! {Plus, it would probably make a great ad for Harley-Davidson Motorcycles, if they even needed an ad, which they don’t!: Those things sell themselves! Only local dealerships do TV ads.})
