Anyone who has ever worked in advertising has probably heard what I’d like to call “The Pencil Parable”. I first heard this related to me years ago by one of my father’s friends who said some guy went in for a job interview to be an ad creative, and the interviewer held out a pencil, and said to the interviewee: “Here: Sell me this pencil.” So the prospective employee pretends to be a blind man, motioning with his hands like he couldn’t see, and holding the pencil like he’s trying to sell it for his livelihood. And hence he gets the job. Did this ever really happen? Maybe it did (who knows?), but since everyone I’ve ever met in any creative career has recounted this tale at some point, I tend to think it’s more likely a parable.
But that brings me to this issue: Is “The Pencil Parable” really even a good solution for an advertising campaign for pencils? I would have to say, upon thinking about it for a few minutes: “Not really.” (I always took it for granted as being a good solution, and a great off-the-cuff response, but I never really thought about it so much as I simply accepted it before as a practical solution. Until today, when I actually thought about it.) Maybe it was only intended to convince the job interviewer person in Human Resources, who was not, in fact, an advertising creative. But no-one has ever used that as a qualifier in this scenario, so I think it’s meant as a true object lesson in how to do great advertising at the-drop-of-a-hat. But is it really a good ad for a pencil? Let’s take a look!
It seems to me, after considering this scenario, that the thing that sells the pencil is the personal intimacy and the immediacy of the situation. You see, the blind person is right there in front of the buyer, and so he feels guilty, or wants to help, so he buys the pencil. But did he even need (or want) the pencil? And if he didn’t, then why did he buy it? Well, if my first two sentences from this paragraph are not accurate, then it would work just as well to have a full-page print ad of a blind man holding up a pencil, and that should work equally well to make people buy pencils. But when you think about it, that wouldn’t work, would it? In fact, even if you have this scenario as a TV spot, it still wouldn’t make you stampede out of your domicile and throw your money at a pencil dealer, now would it?
So, if this would not make you want to go out and buy a pencil anyway, one simply must ask the obvious question: Is “The Pencil Parable” really a good idea for an ad to sell pencils? And the obvious answer is: No, it isn’t. (Unless the guy selling the pencils is out pretending to be a blind man in a very high-traffic area, like a train station or a bus terminal, and if blind people still sold pencils. But then he’d be arrested and charged with fraud under the Americans with Disabilities Act if anyone ever found out.) So then the question emerges: Well, then, what would be a good ad for a pencil? And then that begs another question: Is this an ad for a pencil as a writing implement, or specifically for a pencil, per se? Well, if it’s for a writing implement, that’s easy! How about this?:
Some guy is on the beach in cut-offs, and the girl of his dreams from out-of-town walks up and says: “Hi! I meant to give you my number! It’s… (and then she says it really fast.)” So he whips out his cell phone, but its battery is dead. And he says: “Wait…” But she says: “Sorry, I’m getting a ride home! Gotta go! See you later! Call me!” And then he never sees her again ever. And then the announcer says: “Need a pen?” (And to drive it all home, if they wanted to be sadistic about it, this thing could play out like a flashback in some single man’s mind, recounting this story in his head when some old college friend, at a class reunion, inconsiderately laughs about how he missed his only chance at happiness by not remembering the girl’s phone number.)
Now that will sell a pen (or at least, it will sell them indirectly, when kids steal their parents’ pens)! And isn’t that really a more believable scenario for an ad that might make you do something when you are removed from the immediacy of the moment? Because you might see that and think you might need a pen someday and get one; but you might not see the blind man on TV and think you need a pencil. Or am I wrong about this?
But what if it’s supposed to be an advertisement specifically for a pencil? Well, how about this? Some guy is taking an exam, but there is very limited space for the answers. He gets one answer wrong (to a question like, for example, who wrote “The Star Spangled Banner”?), and at the end of the test, as the teacher is collecting papers, the test-taking guy sees the teacher’s ring of keys dangling from his pocket, and he remembers it’s Francis Scott Key who wrote it (!). So he wants to write in the corrected answer, but he only has a pen, and with no room left to write in, and limited time, he can’t do it, and he gets it wrong. And this makes him just under the grade-level to earn an important scholarship, so he can’t afford to go to college. And all because he didn’t have a pencil! (And thus is proven the mightiness of the pen {versus the sword}: See? It ruined this guy’s life! Now that’s some real power!)
Or, for it to be slightly less Earth-shattering in tone, how about this instead: Some artist guy is drawing a sketch of his girlfriend at the beach. He’s doing a nice job, but then she makes an off-color comment, and he gives her a big hook nose or a fat stomach, and then she apologizes, says it was a joke, and then says she loves him. But then, she wants to see that drawing, and he’s been using a pen (!). So she gets up, sees it, kicks sand in his face, and dumps him, and everyone on the beach sees this and laughs heartily. Oh, but then we switch this scenario to the pencil, and just as she’s getting up, he quickly erases the offending line and re-draws it perfectly, and just in time for her to see it too! And they live happily ever after, and all because of pencils! See? You really do need one after all!
