From what I understand, lots of iPhones are getting stolen in the New York City subways these days. That's understandable, as they're very nice, quite valuable, fun to play with, and as they are carried quite often by affluent people, they might tend to have lots of personal information inside of them that might be helpful for identity thieves (or aspiring ones). Plus, they're easily identifiable with their sleek, beautiful case! That's why Apple has introduced the new iClaudius: the ugly- and outdated-looking case for the iPhone that lets it function, but makes it look like an old, beat-up, outmoded and obsolete cell-phone. Simply place your beautiful new iPhone into the iClaudius, and you'll never have to worry about it being stolen! (In fact, you couldn't even give it away!)
BTW: Sorry for all the I, Claudius in-jokes lately; and for those who don't know, in I, Claudius, Claudius survived all the murderous power-struggle purges in the Caesar Augustus/Tiberius era because he appeared (and indeed pretended) to be such a dim-bulb type that nobody considered him enough of a threat to worry about the possibility of him ever acceding to the imperial throne (which he did eventually anyway simply because he was the only one left). So the joke here is that your iPhone could survive against theft by appearing and pretending to be another, less-desirable phone.
Disclaimer: There is no such thing as an Apple iClaudius. (But maybe there should be!)
