There has been a rash of heckling incidents lately during
political speeches given by President Obama, Mitt Romney, and both of their
minions. This has generated the usual slanted false outrage from political
pundits on the TV box, claiming it’s only not fair for it to happen to their
guy, and that it’s reprehensible not to forbid it (if it’s happening to them),
while it’s a violation of Constitutional rights to not allow it (if it’s
happening to the other camp). But this phenomenon can be very tiring for the
people who actually want to hear these speeches. (Surely there must be someone
who wants to hear them, right? I mean, I don’t anymore: I’m sick to death of
this already, and I know all their positions already, so it’s pure spin from
here on in to me. But surely there must be somebody who wants to hear this drivel, right? I mean, aside from news people who have to cover and spin it, that is.) So I think I may have a solution!
Why not have the Secret Service train a team of
anti-heckling dogs? These dogs could be trained to find, hone in on, and stop
hecklers during political speeches. Here’s how it would work: They would get
the drooliest, slobberiest blood hounds, and train them to find hecklers during
campaign speeches and rallies, and then these canine constables would run over,
jump up on the heckler, and drool on and lick their faces (and the insides of
their mouths if they’re shouting) until they stopped heckling and ran away. And
this would be completely humane to both the dogs and to the hecklers!
(Or if they discourage/ban heckling, will nobody show up for
the speeches anymore? Maybe all the public wants now is to voice their
frustration and outrage at whoever happens to show up, and they don’t even care
who it is anymore, or what kind of claptrap/balderdash they’ve come to spout.
That is absolutely possible, you know.)
Here’s a news story about the heckling:
