CBS Sunday Morning, my mother's favorite television show, had a story a little over a week ago about Plum Island. Apparently it's some livestock disease research laboratory or something, and it's super secret. That's funny, because I always thought they were using it to weaponize the New England accent. Think of how devastating it could be in combat if only we could purify it to its ultimate strength level! I think this is a missed opportunity for our military! I mean, come on: Plum Island is close enough to easily deliver sample subjects, but far enough away to avert suspicion! After all, it's smack dab in the middle of the waters off the southern coast of New England (Connecticut and Rhode Island, that is), but it's really a part of Long Island. Plus, some New York accents could be purified to weapons-grade levels as well, so it's perfectly located for such a purpose. Who knows: maybe all this disease research stuff is simply a ruse to misdirect us from recognizing it's true purpose: weaponized New England and New York accents! (And like the heat ray, they wouldn't be fatal, but they would temporarily confuse, annoy and discombobulate opposing forces, so it's a non-lethal persuasion weapon of the future, and that's just good for everyone! Plus, enemy combatants might fear it enough to lay down their arms at the mere mention of its coming deployment, so it could save many American lives!)
Here's CBS's 'plum'bing of the story (They said it first, not me!):
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-3445_162-57450054/plumbing-the-mysteries-of-plum-island/?tag=contentMain;contentBody
