Cristiano Ronaldo is beginning to wake up in this tournament
and score important goals, moving his team forward in the Euro 2012. (Could they end up winning the whole thing?) But even
with his brilliant goal against the Czech Republic on Thursday, the Euro
highlights show analysis still couldn't help but remark on his hair not having one strand out of
place for the post-match interview. And this is simply because he appears to
use an entire bottle of hair gel on his hair every day, despite the fact that
he has a faux-hawk of sorts that is extremely short everywhere except for the
top (which is still not very long at only like two to three inches at most, I'd say). I guess he thinks it looks good to have
plastic-looking hair, or perhaps he’s going for that plastic-looking black shellacked/lacquered hair of
his namesake, President Ronald Reagan (He’s apparently named Ronaldo after
Ronald Reagan: Yes, really.), like Devo did with their literal plastic
Reaganesque hair in the 1980s. But with this much product in his hair during
games, when he heads the ball, I keep expecting the ball to stick to his hair.
Then he might get people kicking him in the head and about the face, and that might not be so good
for his male-model magazine looks. Or else, maybe when the ball strikes his
crunchy hair, it might crack and snap off of his head like just so much black shoe-polished pork rind, and then it would look even sillier than it does now.
So maybe he should cut back on the hair products just a bit; you know, just for the
games and all.
Here’s Devo with their plastic Cristiano Ronaldo hair; um, I
mean, Ronald Reagan hair:
(BTW: I’m only joking here, so no offense, I hope. I am a
big fan of Ronaldo, but this plastic-looking hair is quite a hoot. I remember
hair gel from high school, and he must use a lot.)
