Friday, June 8, 2012

Dirt Devil Knockoffs (and Dust Dracula)

My parents have a Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner. My sister has one too. In fact, lots of people I know seem to have Dirt Devils, and that must have something to do with the name. (Or, could it be that since it's a Dirt "Devil", they're being tempted into buying it? Or perhaps it's an unconscious rebellion against religion?) So to help sell more vacuum cleaners, why don't other companies make Dirt Devil knockoffs? They could be called: "Soot Satan", "Soil Satan", "Mess Mephistopheles", "Dust Demon", etc.

But when you really think about it, wouldn't an even more appropriate evil character to use for naming a vacuum cleaner after be Dracula? After all, Dracula sucks blood, so why not suck up the mess from your floors too? For a character who is known for (literally) sucking something up, you can't get more literal or zeitgeisty than Dracula, can you? So then someone could sell a "Dirt Dracula", and say: "It sucks up your dirt." Then they could have ads where Dracula, as the company mascot, says: "I vant to suck your dirt!" (Or "Dust Dracula", and have him say: "I vant to suck your dust!")