The Euro 2012 Soccer tournament is on now, and with it we are treated to a veritable cornucopia of shots of men spitting large wads of saliva (etc.) on the ground left, right and center. And now, with the miracle of HD television, we can finally see every glob and bubble in their lovely oral fluids and phlegm. I have always wondered how they can do all this loogie spitting all over the field when they know they're probably going to be sliding over it at some point. But hopefully, now that we have such a clear, sharp picture, we can see these large spit-wads smeared across their shorts and jerseys in all their disgusting glory, as well as being permitted to witness and soak in all the glorious expressions of outright apoplectic disgust and abject humiliated revulsion colorfully painted across the players' twisted countenances as they slide over the fruits of their own labor. (Remember: As ye sow, so shall ye reap!) I can almost see their revolted, pained visages at this very moment! Maybe they'll give us extra slow-motion replays so we can enjoy the schadenfreude even more!
But hey: I've never thought of this before, but perhaps if they kept track of where they spat, groundskeepers could make a fortune collecting and selling the spit-wads of the most famous stars on eBay or some such thing. And maybe, just maybe, some biotech firm could use the DNA from this spit to clone more of these stars for future soccer dominance and/or genetically engineer the perfect soccer star from a combination of the most desirable attributes of each star player! And then we could see the wonderful spectacle of star soccer players perhaps suing in international court these secret genetic labs for the unlicensed use of their DNA in genetic engineering. And this could lead to star sponsorships and endorsements of specific or competing genetic research companies by specific athletes, just like with video games! And then maybe they'd think twice about just casually spitting onto the field! In fact, possibly the future of sports will include genetic researchers in lab coats running around the sides of the fields with little cups to catch certain players' spit, and with canisters of liquid nitrogen in which to store it for secure transportation to the labs.
Hey, you never know: perhaps the most valuable sports collectibles in the age of genetic engineering research & development will end up being the very spit-wads these athletes so casually and contemptuously spit upon the field of their own accord! And that would be great for them ultimately, because even when they're past their prime as players, their DNA will still be just as valuable for biotech firms' genetic engineering and cloning programs, so they can literally spin gold out of spit, like some futuristic expectorating athletic Rumpelstiltskin.
