Scotchgard Mascot?

A piece I wrote recently about Scotchgard made me think a bit more about Scotchgard, and I thought it might be even more fun for Scotchgard to create an corporate mascot advertising purposes who could fight off stains from furniture, carpets, etc., treated with Scotchgard. This mascot could be a Scottish guard of some sort wearing a tartan kilt and a breastplate of armor, and he could wield one of those long spear-like weapons the Beefeaters use, or else a sword and shield, to defend Scotchgarded stuff like furniture, etc., against things that might stain them, like red wine, etc., fighting them off from being able to stain the fabric. So it would be a CGI fightfest free-for-all, with spastic people spilling stuff on furniture, and the Scotchgard Scotch Guard preventing these things from getting on the fabric. Then they could say something like: "Scotchgard: Stains shall not pass!"