Crestor has a commercial that’s been running on television
for months at this point, where some actor pretending to be a doctor (standing
in a city park with a large mirror, as people walk by, stop, and look at
themselves pensively) says: “I wish my patients could see what I see.” Well, isn’t there a solution to this issue,
what with all of our recent technological advancements in medical science, that might be more effective at communicating this message than a mirror? I mean, the whole point
of this ad is about patients seeing what the doctor sees, right? And since Crestor is for preventing
plaque build-up in arteries inside people’s bodies due to high cholesterol
and/or diabetes as risk factors, but nobody can even see their own circulatory
systems in this mirror, I think there must be a better solution to this idea of this doctor’s patients being able to “see what (he) see(s)”. In fact, apart from being a tortured metaphor, what’s
the purpose of this mirror thing anyway?
Look, there’s a really easy way for a doctor’s patients to
“see what (the doctor) see(s)”, and if this guy is a real doctor, he ought to
know this by now! Yes, if it’s regarding plaque buildup, especially in the neck
arteries, which can cause strokes, then he could send them for a duplex Doppler ultrasound scan test of the carotid arteries: these things have sonogram imagery that
prints out on a lab report, and he could then show them the problem. There are
also plenty of other Doppler scan lab tests he could send them to have, for scanning different parts of the body and the brain, and
then his patients could “see what (he) see(s)” with regard to this plaque-buildup issue, and quite literally, too. And wouldn't that make a lot more sense than the mirror for communicating this issue of plaque buildup that Crestor is designed to help mitigate and/or ameliorate? (I mean, I know they use that little computer graphic insert shot of the plaque in the artery for a second, but these scans might be more effective than the mirror for communicating the message of this ad: that's all I’m saying.)
Unless, could he perhaps be referring to something else
here? Does this guy have Superman-style X-Ray vision? In fact, perhaps this guy
is in reality Superman himself, who had to change professions when it became
obvious to everyone who he was through the comic books, movie serials, TV
shows, and blockbuster movies, so he had to change his identity. So now he dons
a lab coat, and with his X-Ray vision, he can diagnose patients’ arterial
blockages, cancerous tumors, kidney stones, etc., with a simple glance. And
then it would have nothing to do with technology whatsoever, this ability of
his to easily see what’s ailing or threatening his patients’ health! Oh, but to
come out and say so might tend to place his carefully-worked secret identity in
jeopardy, so he can only “wish” his patients could see what he sees, and still
he must go through all the rigmarole and bureaucracy to send his patients out
to get lab tests done, and hope they all pick up and confirm what he knows to
be the case, lest he accidentally let slip the closely-guarded secret that he
is, indeed, our super-heroic superhero, Superman! (Superman fanfare TV show/cartoon theme music, please.) But
then again, if this is the case, then making this TV ad wouldn’t be so wise,
because we might begin to suspect this mild-mannered secret identity masks his
actual true identity: that of Superman himself!
But perhaps this isn’t the problem either. Maybe what he
wants is merely for his patients to be able to see themselves objectively, or
through someone else’s eyes. Well, both of these are pretty simple to
accomplish, you know, Mr. Smarty Pants. (Oh, sorry: Dr. Smarty Pants! Please excuse me,
my good Doctor, I meant no disrespect there.) Firstly, you could get a nearly
full-size mirror and go stand in a municipal park somewhere and hope your
patients will coincidentally happen to pass by and look at themselves pensively
(although I see you’ve already got this one covered.); or else you could
install a big mirror in your office (although I see from this commercial that
you’ve already done this as well, so you must be a good doctor, since you
always seem to plan ahead in the mirror department). Next, you could wear a
helmet with a video camera on top of it, and then you could have a big TV set
in your office that broadcasts what your camera films in real time: that way,
your patients could “see what (you) see”. Or, since you’re supposed to be a
doctor, why don’t you simply surgically graft your eyeballs into their heads,
or perhaps you could hook your optic nerve into your patients’ visual cortex
(just temporarily, unless you want it to be permanent): that way, they would literally see exactly what you see!
Unless you were just being metaphorical all along, in which
case, forget I said anything.
I’m practically despondent to have to report that I am
unable to locate this commercial anywhere on the Internet. I tried ever so hard
to locate it, but sadly, my efforts proved fruitless. However, you may be lucky
enough to see this commercial on television, where it has proudly been running
for months and months.
