Ancestry.com has a new ad campaign where they show people
doing things that are later explained by an ancestor of theirs, like some woman
who is always eavesdropping on everyone, and it turns out an ancestor of hers
was in military intelligence. Well, seeing as how being a congenital snoop and
busybody might be considered a negative quality, I thought of another idea for
one of the Ancestry.com ads in this campaign where we see someone with a
negative trait looking up how they got that way: use a Slasher killer.
So here’s how this would work: We’d see some Slasher movie
killer, like Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th, or Michael Myers from Halloween, and he’s killing teenagers with a big knife. And
then we see this Slasher killer, after killing another horny teenager, looking
at his bloody knife, scratching his head and wondering something. And then we
see him on his computer, looking up his family tree on Ancestry.com, and it
turns out that his great, great, great grandfather was Jack the Ripper. And
then it all becomes clear to him why he turned out the way he did. And so he
takes off his mask, smiles a big smile, grabs his knife, and then goes off to
slay more naughty teens.
And, come to think of it, this idea could be altered and
expanded to a whole ad campaign for Ancestry.com for horror movie fans! (Not
that they’d ever do it, though.) So we could have the remake Friday the 13th Jason look on Ancestry.com and find out that he’s
really the son of Michael Myers from the Halloween movies, that his grandmother was the Slasher killer
in a Dario Argento Giallo movie (like The Bird with the Crystal
Plumage or Deep Red), that his great grandfather was the Slasher killer
in some Hollywood film noir movie, that his great aunt was the girl from the
movie The Bad Seed, etc. And each
ad could show us more and more information that this Slasher movie killer finds
out about himself, and then he uses this lineage as a résumé for his next
murderous movie role. And in that way, it could be made clear that he’s not a
real killer, but just from a long line of pretend movie killers. (Oh, but then
he wouldn’t get the job, and so he’d kill the casting agent, and then he’d get
hired as a result by some underground horror movie for having “street cred”.)
