We’ve been hearing lately about proposals to change the name
of the NFL team the Washington Redskins. Well, after this week’s scandal, I
think I have an idea: The Washington IRS Auditors. (They could have a briefcase
logo on their helmets, and their jerseys could look like big tax forms.) They’d
frighten everyone, especially rich football players! And if anyone tackled a
Washington player, sacked the quarterback, intercepted a pass, or scored a
touchdown against the Washington team, they’d get audited by the IRS
immediately afterwards! Then, with everyone so intimidated, the Washington IRS
Auditors would win the Super Bowl every year! Yea, Washington! (Oh, and only
members of Congress could gamble on the Super Bowl, because with the winner a
forgone conclusion, technically it would be insider trading, and only Congress
is allowed to do that. {Oh, and nobody is allowed to find out how much they won
either, as per the new STOCK Act.})
