In this ad for Lear Capital, the usual guy is trying to convince us to invest in gold because gold has outperformed the Dow by 270% since 1970. Oh, and over the past 10 years, supposedly gold has beaten the Dow by over 300%. Are you surprised by this revelation? Well, you shouldn’t be, because this is an ad for Lear Capital, and they really, really want you to buy gold from them, or at least to give them your money. Oh, and apparently you also shouldn’t be surprised, because like the guy in this ad says: “…when government prints money faster than a hungry cheetah, your dollars and paper investments can get eaten alive.”
But wow, I didn’t know the government printed money faster than a hungry cheetah. And I also didn’t know hungry cheetahs printed money. Maybe that’s why the value of the dollar is going down: because hungry cheetahs are all printing money too? And if cheetahs are printing money, all the other wild animals must be doing it too! So it’s no wonder our money is losing its value, with all these animals printing it up like crazy! And you know the government protects these animals, so we’re not even allowed to stop them from printing up so much money. Boy, more government regulations that make no sense! Animals are allowed to print all the dollars they want, but people aren’t even allowed to do it when we get hungry! That’s the real scandal here: the government is allowing animals to destroy the value of our currency!
Oh, but perhaps the real scandal here is that the government models its money printing operation on hungry cheetahs. Because didn’t that guy say the government is printing money faster than a hungry cheetah? So then our whole treasury system is all designed around trying to race cheetahs to see who can print money faster? Man, that’s ridiculous! I told you we couldn’t trust the government! So quick: buy all the gold you can eat, before the cheetahs eat it all! (I didn’t know cheetahs ate money before I saw this ad; but when you think about it, I guess it’s obvious, isn’t it?)
Here’s the hungry cheetah spot:
To my surprise, I got an angry, ranting email complaint about this post, believe it or not. Of all the silly, twisted, potentially objectionable material I have composed on this blog, this is the one that gets me the hate mail? I guess you can't please all of the people all of the time, huh? (I think the poison pen email author considered this post a liberal attack upon the conservative strategy of investing in precious metals, which I didn't anticipate as a likely interpretation by readers. I have written other posts about other ads of this type which can be {and likely are} read that way, but which were intended as entertainment, and not as political. But the written word and the spoken word can be interpreted so differently, and perhaps I don't possess the requisite authorial finesse to elucidate the subtleties I endeavor to communicate in my writing {which is generally dashed off with what little time I have to do so}. So apologies for this deficiency of mine; I am working on improving it. Oh, and I think the poison pen email author works for Lear Capital too, because how else can anyone get so mad about a silly scribble such as this post?)
