I wonder if the Secret Service know about this? Yes, you
see, the Secret Service investigates counterfeiting, and as I have worked in
the TV/movie industry in the Art Department, I have heard stories about the
Secret Service showing up at movie productions and getting upset with
production companies for printing up fictitious money, like for some science
fiction movie featuring JFK $1 Million bills and such. In fact, supposedly they
get very upset whenever anyone tries to make any kind of phony money
whatsoever, and seeing as how the ING orange money looks like real dollars only
on orange paper, they might be interested in this. Because, you know, maybe
someone with color blindness might think it’s real money or something. Or, hey,
maybe ING is trying to make everyone think this orange money is really real
money for retirement, and that retired people are allowed to spend it. (I knew
they were up to something fishy! ING must be shorthand for counterfeitING! {I
knew it! I’m tellin’!})
Or, hey, maybe ING is trying to trick old people into
thinking they should go trade in their real money for the fake orange dollars.
You don’t suppose they’re trying to target helpless retirees with this scheme,
and then turn them over to the Secret Service as counterfeiters before they try
to spend the money and find out it’s fake. Then it would look like there’s a
conspiracy of retired persons to print up their own money, and ING is the
heroic company breaking up this racket (which they’re secretly behind all
along!). But you know, if that’s what they’re up to, they really shouldn’t make
an ad like this, because then the Secret Service will see it and know what
they’re up to from the beginning! (Plus, all the retirees will be onto them
too.)
Here’s the ad that proves ING is counterfeiting orange money
and tricking people into thinking it’s worth something (Those fiends!):
(Hey, how about an ING retirement ad with The Annoying
Orange Money {Based on the kids’ show The Annoying Orange}, where when you try to spend it, the money yells at
you and tells you it’s only for retirement, etc. I heard there’s nothing adults
nearing retirement age love better than The Annoying Orange, and so this would be perfect! {Okay, maybe not. But
you know, kids will be old and retire someday too, so maybe ING could get their
business early by using this idea of The Annoying Orange Money in ads aimed at
kids. After all, I thought the thinking was that if you get people while
they’re young with advertising aimed at them, companies could earn loyalty for
life. And that’s why they don’t generally aim many ads at the people who
actually have a lot of money to spend: ages 40 and up. Which I think is a
mistake. But it is probably more fun to make silly ads for young people, and
that’s why I think they push this idea of targeting the coveted 18-34 age
demographic. But older people are just grown-up younger people, so why not give
them silly ads too?})
