Here we have tough guy football analyst Tony Siragusa saying
he’s been around tough guys for years, and now he’s going to shift his focus to
hanging around with men whose bladders are too strong for them to control. And
you know what that means: it’s the new ad campaign for the Depend for Men
Guards that let men pee their pants in public in security! Because letting only
women get away with doing it is sexist!
And it looks as if Tony Siragusa has built a miniaturized
man cave in this guy’s bathroom, I guess for his “manhood” to enjoy? (I always
thought manhood had more to do with character, courage, maturity and
responsibility, but I guess you could just equate it to one’s penis too if one
doesn’t have any of those qualities.)
Oh, but Depend is not really the company that invented this
product, now are they? No, others maybe have invented this idea before
privately, but the first time anyone ever saw it advertised on television was
on Saturday Night Live. Yes, in the early
1980s, SNL created this product
and made a (joke) ad for it. The product was called Penie Pads, and the slogan
was: “Good for the last drop!” (I think someone is owed some royalties here…
And you know, Saturday Night Live
really ought to make and sell the products the make joke ads for as novelty
gifts. And then, when the rest of the world has caught up to their creativity
and seen the need for such a product, they can license it and make a killing!
Hey, I’d buy Macho Wipe Toilet Paper as a joke gift, and so would everyone else
I know!)
Yes, the joke ads on Saturday Night Live were always my favorite sketches, and that’s why I
write this blog making fun of ads, writing joke ads, and writing proposed ads
that I think are either good or fun enough to really make. I’m just a
frustrated guy who would really like to be writing joke ads for fake products
for SNL at heart. It’s all their
fault!
Here’s the purloined peenie pad piece:
By the way, for those of you who don’t know or don’t
remember, Macho Wipe Toilet Paper was another joke ad on SNL years ago, with Lauren Hutton in a sexy nightgown or
some such thing saying: “I’m Lauren Hutton. I want my man to work hard and play
hard, and when he goes to the bathroom, I want him to wipe hard!” Then Joe Piscopo said: “This is your average
soft toilet paper: the kind wimps
use!” (And then he contemptuously throws the roll of toilet paper over his
shoulder.)
Here’s the Penie Pads joke ad, from 1981:
