Initial news of the current I.R.S. scandal came from an attempt to “get in front of the scandal” by Lois Lerner, who intended to soften the blow of the upcoming I.G. report of the unfair targeting of Tea Party groups by the I.R.S. tax-exempt status division by planting a question in some press conference and bringing the issue to light on a Friday afternoon, a common tactic used by the Washington establishment to lessen the impact of unfavorable news revelations (because it’s the beginning of the weekend, and maybe people will get distracted and forget, or some other news story may come along and overshadow the unfavorable news). But rather than help deflate the scandal, this has caused it to grow wildly into a big story. And that gave me an idea for an (joke) ad for the plant food Miracle-Gro.
So Lois Lerner is worried about the politicization of the I.R.S. being exposed by the upcoming I.G. report, so she decides to try to defuse the bad news by having a plant ask a question about it at a Friday afternoon press conference. And to make sure the plant is effective, she plants it with Miracle-Gro plant food. And so when the plant asks her about the targeting of conservative groups (The plant is a talking plant like a small version of the man-eating plant from Little Shop of Horrors.), everyone is really shocked that a talking plant is actually there asking questions, and as a result, they all pay close attention to the question and the answer, and the scandal breaks big-time. Which just goes to show you, if you want your plants or scandals to grow at a truly amazing rate, then you need to use Miracle-Gro: the miracle plant food!
