The ads for Ancestry.com claim you never know what you’ll find when you look up your family tree on Ancestry.com, and that you don’t need to know what you’re looking for, you just need to start looking. (Oh, I need to, huh? Don’t boss me around, you family tree bullies!) But what if some well-known and popular fictional characters did this? We might see some silly movies scenes then!
So in this (joke) Ancestry.com commercial featuring Star Wars characters, Luke Skywalker looks up his parents on Ancestry.com and finds out that Darth Vader is his father. So when we get to the scene where Darth Vader tell Luke that he’s his dad, Luke says: “I know, dad. I looked it up on Ancestry.com.” And so prepared for this family reunion, Luke decides to take Darth Vader up on his offer to rule the galaxy together as father and son, they kill the evil Emperor, they put the Force back into balance by being a team of one good and one evil father & son, and everybody wins! And so Darth Vader is only mean to evil characters, Luke acts as the PR liaison for the Empire, and everyone just gets used to big government in the galaxy. Yea, Ancestry.com! They stopped the Emperor’s evil plans, they stopped the rebellion, they prevented a galactic civil war, and they reunited Luke and Anakin Skywalker in a happy family galactic monarchy.
Or, how about this for another (joke) Star Wars ad for Ancestry.com: Remember in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope how Princess Leia was held prisoner and interrogated on the Death Star by Darth Vader himself, and there was that black spherical levitating robot with the truth serum syringe? Well, since they used Ancestry.com, Princess Leia and Darth Vader would already know that they’re related, and so this scene would play out a bit differently, like so:
Princess Leia would be talking to Darth Vader in her bedroom/cell, saying: “Dad, can I borrow your tie-fighter tonight?” And Darth Vader says: “So you can go out with your rebel friends again? No you may not! You’re still grounded from the last time you went out, when you gave them the secret plans to this battle station.” And Princess Leia says: “Dad, you’re such a jerk! No wonder everyone in the galaxy hates you!” And Darth Vader says: “No more backtalk young lady! Just for that, you’re going to bed with no supper!” And then that black orb robot with the syringe comes floating into the room with a sleeping draught to inject her with. And the announcer says: “See how different your life can be when you discover your family tree on Ancestry.com!”
