In my joking about the Blue Wilderness dog food ad, I was
reminded of a silly dog food ad I came up with a couple of years ago. I’m not
sure anyone would want to make it, because it’s kind of gross, but it’s very
zany and memorable, so it really might work. We see network specials on TV once
a year with European ads, and they’re absolutely over-the-top and crazy, and
that’s the kind of effect I was going for with this piece. So it might not get
made in America, but it would probably be pretty popular in Europe, I’d bet.
So here it is, my silly Chef Michael’s Pavlov’s Dog Food Ad
(This is about Pavlov’s Dogs, which you can look up on Wikipedia if you’re
unfamiliar with this study in classical conditioning.):
Text: Pavlov’s Dogs, 1920s
Pavlov’s dogs sit in a white room. A bell on the wall rings
(shown in close-up), the dogs begin to salivate slightly (hero dog shown in
close-up), the door opens, and the dogs walk in to get their food. Dr. Pavlov
says to his assistant: “The effect is barely noticeable. I had hoped for a more
pronounced response. Maybe the problem is the dog food we’re using. Let’s give
them Chef Michael’s and run the experiment again.”
Text: Pavlov’s Dogs with Chef Michael’s Dog Food
Pavlov’s dogs sit in the white room again. The bell on the
wall rings, as before. The dogs begin to salivate wildly, spraying it out like
water from a garden hose, filling the room up like a swimming pool in which the
dogs swim close to the ceiling. The door opens, and a huge deluge pours through
the doorway. The dogs body surf the wave through the door, knocking over the
lab assistants on their way to the Chef Michael’s Dog Food, which they gobble
up immediately. Dr. Pavlov says: “It’s perfect! Now my theory is proven, and my
fame is assured!”
