Yes, apparently New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg got a letter poisoned with ricin. And CNN reports that this was over his tough stance on guns. Apparently the letter mentioned his gun control stuff. But really, can you necessarily believe the letter written by someone who is trying to poison someone else with ricin? Wouldn’t they try to put the finger on some other group just so the sender could get away clean?
No, this is obviously the soda industry! They know Bloomberg is trying to destroy them, and they’re trying to destroy him first! And surely they’d try to blame a gun nut, right? Because when you think about it, wouldn’t a gun rights guy say it was a soda enthusiast, just to keep people from knowing who did it? Yeah, if a gun guy did it, they’d send a note that says: “Coke adds death, Coca-Cola adds… death. Signed: Dr. Pepper.” Right?
Oh, but Piers Morgan is selling this not necessarily true fact of a gun nut conspiracy on CNN tonight. (Remember the last ricin letter? That was a frame job, so why not this one too?) But doesn’t that prove that Piers Morgan himself sent the poisoned letter? He hates guns, and he also hates gun rights people with a childish fury generally reserved for elementary school bullies. (His position on guns is fine with me, even if I don’t agree with him fully, but his name calling stuff and hissy fits are completely unwelcome in an adult conversation on an important issue, and tend to discredit his stance.) And so wouldn’t he try to smear gun rights people by trying to make everyone think they’re poisoned letter authors? And since he has a whole news channel to spin facts to fit his agenda, he could totally get away with it, too. It’s just that I’m not so sure he knows how to make poisons.
And that’s another thing: How come everyone and his brother seems to know how to make poisons and stuff these days? Is it that evil internet? Because I heard it’s only supposed to be for pornography. (Avenue Q told me.) Oh, and criminals bragging about their crimes on Facebook so the police can catch them easily. (Hey, maybe someone will brag about the Bloomberg ricin letter on Facebook, leading to their arrest? We can only hope...)
