I keep hearing and reading stuff about Star Trek Into
Darkness, but nobody will talk much about
Benedict Cumberbatch’s villainous character. But I think I know who he is, and
I’ll boldly go where no reviewer has gone before and tell you.
Okay, look, we all know that J.J.Abrams’s Star Trek movie was wildly successful and wildly popular right
off the mark. But you know, it took Gene Roddenberry a long time to get Star
Trek accepted and to build up support for
his creation. So then who else could Benedict Cumberbatch’s villain be but Gene
Roddenberry, out to destroy this new Star Trek Franchise out of frustration that his creation is being altered, and jealousy that it’s been so instantly successful? It’s the only thing that
makes sense! Who else would have such a motive? And then, with this alternate
timeline Star Trek destroyed, but
with Star Trek’s popularity at an
all-time high, Gene could come back to life and helm a whole new movie series
based on the original timeline.
Okay, maybe that’s not true, but maybe it secretly is
anyway! Perhaps the bad guy played by Benedict Cumberbatch isn’t supposed to be
Gene Roddenberry, but it secretly really is
him anyway because he reversed the polarity during the new timeline and got to
time travel to the present to kidnap Benedict Cumberbatch (so he wouldn’t ruin Star
Trek like he did Sherlock Holmes), and wear
a Benedict Cumberbatch suit (they’re a very popular Halloween costume with Masterpiece
Mystery viewers) to bring down the new
franchise to the point where everything would be destroyed and they’d have to
come back to the original timeline. And guess who would be there to helm the
new series? Yes, I’m telling you, this has got to be what’s going on here. Why
else wouldn’t any nerd reveal the truth until now? It’s because they’re trying
to aid and abet Gene Roddenberry in destroying this series of Star
Trek movies so he can start a new one! (You
know it’s true! {Search your feelings, you know it to be true! [Oh, sorry,
that’s from a Star Wars movie,
not Star Trek, isn’t it?]})
