There’s some silly Giallo movie called Death Walks on
High Heels made by a director named Luciano
Ercoli (I guess that would be Lou Hercules in English). I just saw it again
recently. The title strikes me as kind of odd, because I wouldn’t think death
would want to walk around on high heels since they’re so uncomfortable. But
then I though that maybe death has no choice but to wear high heels all the
time as part of the job, and that as a result death gets corns and bunions and stuff,
and that’s why death always goes around killing everyone: out of feelings of
wrath over the foot pain and discomfort. That’s not what the movie is about,
though; although maybe it should be?
Hey, maybe this could make a fun idea for an ad for Dr. Scholl’s
cushioned shoe inserts. Death could walk on high heels, and death would feel so
uncomfortable that there would be an epidemic of unexplained deaths in the
women’s shoe industry. They’d be dropping like flies, everyone who designed and
sold spike-heeled women’s shoes, like Jimmy Choo, and everyone who wore them,
etc. Oh, but then the spirit of one of the shoe owner women would notice that
death was limping, she’d look down, and she’d notice that death was wearing
uncomfortable-looking high-heeled shoes, and she’d say: “Wow, those shoes look
a bit uncomfortable there, death. You must have awful blisters, corns and
bunions. I used to have those too until I started using Dr. Scholl’s gel
inserts.” Then she’s take off her shoe and show the inserts to death, who would
make some optimistic/curious moaning noise. So then death would try the Dr.
Scholl’s inserts, find them to be comfortable, and then all the shoe designers
and so forth would come back to life, sitting back up where the fell, or in one
case, sitting up in their open casket at their wake. And then the slogan could
be: “Dr. Scholl’s: The cure for killer shoes.”
