Yes, a muck-rakey scandal rag-style gossip piece in Yahoo! Shine today says: “Brad Pitt Slams His Marriage to Jennifer Aniston.” Oh, yeah? Well, I slam my not being married to Jennifer Aniston! So there!
Yes, apparently Brad Pitt whines about how unhappy he was being married to Jennifer Aniston. But does he give even one thought to how unhappy I, and so many other American men, have been not being married to her? No! And really, wouldn’t that make a more interesting story: Brad Pitt telling some gossipy scandal rag about how Jennifer Aniston really should have married me instead of him? Because now it could be me bitching about how unhappy I was with her, and gaining all that, um, what’s the opposite of sympathy? Whatever that is: I could have it, since apparently he doesn’t want it. (Or, hey: you don’t suppose this was all a ruse to get his name in the papers se we’ll all go see World War Z, now do you? Nah, that couldn’t be it.)
(Confidentially, I think it’s quite likely that Brad has to do this periodically to keep Angelina appeased. Because every so often {almost every day it seems}, there’s a news story online raving about how hot and sexy Jennifer Aniston is, with lots of steamy pictures showing how great she still looks, etc.; and whenever Angelina sees one of these, she probably gets mad at Brad for having been married to Jennifer before. And so then he has to convince Angelina to her satisfaction that he was completely miserable with Jennifer, and that he never thought she was hot, etc., or else.)
(Confidentially, I think it’s quite likely that Brad has to do this periodically to keep Angelina appeased. Because every so often {almost every day it seems}, there’s a news story online raving about how hot and sexy Jennifer Aniston is, with lots of steamy pictures showing how great she still looks, etc.; and whenever Angelina sees one of these, she probably gets mad at Brad for having been married to Jennifer before. And so then he has to convince Angelina to her satisfaction that he was completely miserable with Jennifer, and that he never thought she was hot, etc., or else.)
Here’s the article, labeled under “Fashion”, of all things (Maybe that’s why he didn’t enjoy the marriage: it wasn’t fashionable enough? Well, you know what’s really in fashion? Divorce! It’s all the rage! And at least he’ll always have that.):
