I made fun of that silly Phillips’ Colon Health wedding ad a while ago, but I just thought of a very silly (joke) ad for this product (thanks to the recent Mazda CX-5 ad’s referencing of The Six Million Dollar Man). This product uses probiotics to help people maintain regularity (I guess amateur biotics don’t work as well, somehow), so I thought, how about getting Jamie Summers, The Bionic Woman, to become the “Biotic Woman”, and run around saving people whose regularity is threatened or in jeopardy. So here’s how it would play out:
In this silly and lighthearted ad, which plays like a satire of a promo for a (fictional) TV show, Jamie Summers (played by Lindsay Wagner) is The Biotic Woman, secret government agent sworn to help maintain people’s regularity. Her origin is that she’s a government agent who died from fecal impaction, but they rebuilt her with probiotic implants as The Biotic Woman so she could save others from suffering the same fate. So she runs around the country, showing up just in time to aid constipated people in need with probiotics. She gives them the Phillips’ Colon Health, touting its probiotic ingredients as a natural way to maintain regularity; the people take it, and go into the bathroom: then we hear, from inside the bathroom, that bionic sound effect that always played on The Six Million Dollar Man whenever Steve Austin used his bionics for anything (that ne-ne-ne-ne-ne! sound effect), and then we hear the toilet flush, and the person comes out of the bathroom. Then they say how well it works, etc.
