Sunday, November 18, 2012

Red State Dawn

As many of us have seen, apparently there is a remake of Red Dawn coming out soon. It's a shame they didn't manage to make it during the Cold War, but whatever: better late than never, huh? Hey, they made plenty of WWII movies after WWII, right? So this is just like that, only, you know, less compelling, and everything. But there is something that's happening now that is very contemporaneous that might work to make this movie even more exciting: Red State Dawn!

That's right: ever since President Obama's re-election, lots of sore loser states have submitted petitions to secede from the United States. And what if they all teamed up and fought to be free? (Hey, it could happen if President Obama wins re-election again, right?) So then it would be really relevant and exciting and zeitgeisty to have a remake of Red Dawn called Red State Dawn where all the red states invade the blue states and force them to live under the tyranny of Mitt Romney, or whomever they'd choose (maybe Sarah Palin, for extra horror)? Then the movie could show how the red states initially defeat and occupy the blue states because the blue states are all full of anti-gun hippies who are easy to push around by the gun-toting red staters. But then, forced to live under the tyranny of pro-lifers who lower taxes, cut social programs, and force everyone to pray in school and teach creationism, the liberals learn to appreciate the Second Amendment and start acquiring guns and ammo and start to fight back! And once they start to think about all the social issues, they see red like the red staters do, and it's a blood-spurting carnage-fest to the end!

You know you want to see it! The next big action blockbuster is: Red State Dawn!