Hey, we all know about government waste, but we need government when we’re in trouble, right? So how can we find a balance that works for us? Well, it’s just like we found with instant coffee: dehydrated FEMA!
Look, we all know that instant coffee tastes just as good as the best coffee, right? (No? Yes it does!) And the same would be true for the disaster relief of FEMA, too! And really, don’t we really need FEMA the most when there’s a lot of flooding around, like from hurricanes and stuff? So they’d self-activate! All we’d have to do is add water, and the storm would do that for us! Then they would instantly appear to help! What could be easier?
We must have the technology for this stuff by now, right? So the answer is clear: an instant, dehydrated, freeze-dried FEMA! (Just add water.) It’s just right for America! (We can get the Maxwell House people to develop it for us! Hey: they did such a great job with coffee, right? And we need coffee even more than government here in America, apparently! So they must be the right ones for the job! Right?)
