Hey, speaking of buzzsaws (I wrote about Speed Racer cutting his way through holiday traffic in my last post), remember that alien in the original Star Trek episode that looked like a buzzsaw of light, and it made the Klingons and the Enterprise crew fight each other, and it fed off the rage and hatred, causing it to turn red? (The episode was called “Day of the Dove”, from the third season.) Well, at the end of that episode, the alien thingy, defeated by Captain Kirk’s truce with the Klingons, flew out of the Enterprise and into space, and it’s my belief that it now hangs around large discount retailers on Black Friday, making everyone go crazy with rage and fight over X-Boxes and video games and flat-screen TV sets and stuff. And one of these years, I hope Kirk and Spock will beam down to fight off the alien menace once again! In fact, this whole scenario of people fighting at retailers over sale items on Black Friday with the red glowing buzzsaw alien feeding off the consumer fighting frenzy would make a great ad for an online retailer like Amazon.com. Here’s how it would work:
We see people fighting over merchandise at a big Black Friday sale, and everyone starts brawling and stampeding and so forth, with that buzzsaw alien hovering overhead and glowing bright red. Then Kirk and Spock, and maybe that Klingon commander, come beaming down to fight the alien menace again. So, using brain over brawn, as Kirk generally does when faced with a powerful opponent he can’t just beat up or something, Captain Kirk tells the hapless shoppers that this evil alien force is feeding off of their greed and hate, and that crushing into sales like this and fighting over stuff is only helping it grow stronger; but to subvert this evil alien’s designs, everyone could simply shop for their sale stuff online at Amazon.com, where they have the same great deals, but without all that in-person mortal combat required to get the stuff and the savings you want. And, thus outmaneuvered once again, the evil alien buzzsaw thingy turns pale again, drained of its angry red rage energy, and departs this world for other unsuspecting locales. And the world is safe for bargain hunting once more, thanks to Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Amazon.com! The End.
Here’s what the alien looks like (it spins around like a buzzsaw):
And here’s what it looks like when it’s all fed with rage and hate:
